Every month or so I work at a hospital for a few hours for my job. I used to do it weekly so I got to know the staff in the section of the hospital pretty well. Being there always reconfirms in me the desire to permanently work in a hospital setting.
The staff has known me for awhile now and has been there as I grew bigger through pregnancy. Every time I'm now there, several people always ask "How's the baby?" They come over and we swap stories and I get to know them on a more personal level too.
There is one front staff woman who is just always so put together. So pretty, great clothers, great hair, great make up. She's just, well great. And here's the kicker, she's not even 30 yet and has like 5 kids and just recently took in her sister's infant son. I look at her and how fabulous she looks everytime I see and realize that I have no freaking excuse to not be a bit more put together.
I need to snap out of this slump I've been in and start taking back control of my life. I've posted bits and pieces of my life and the challenges thereof but life has really been kicking me in the tush.
Have you ever just had so much on your plate that you just no longer wanted to eat anymore? That's how I've been feeling lately (unfortunately i use food as a metaphor - I'm able to eat just fine!). I know I have so much to do and I've just been giving up on doing any of it. Yesterday/Sunday I just laid on the couch most of the day even though I had so much to do. And in my mind I was just completely beating myself up for it.
Today, I know I need a focus. I have not been taking care of myself. My hair needs cutting. My eyebrows need waxing or threading. My feet need some TLC. I need some summer clothes. I need new bras. I need new shoes. I'm not being greedy - I seriously have not bought anything for myself or done anything for myself in I frankly cannot remember how long. Well I did go to see Sex and The City. That does count : )
But alot of this does have to do with money. Things are tight and we have to prioritize and I do put myself pretty damn low on that list. I think I will at least put one or two of those little perks a little higher - even if it means getting my hair cut at a cheaper place (hey, getting my hair done at a nicer place is my splurge - I'm not a shoe person, I'm not a purse girl). And I may visit Payless for a pair of shoes b/c LITERALLY all my nonheel shoes have holes (embarrasing but true).
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I hope if I do a few little things to focus on making myself feel happier about me appearance wise - that will make me feel happier in this spotty brain o' mine.
I'm still convinced that a new job will be the answer to alot but my timeline has not worked out for that so I've got to do something I can have more control of...me.
So next time I stop by the hospital, I'm going to tell the front desk lady that she is my new role model. I want people to wonder about me "How does she do it?"
2 comments:
Atta girl! I think that you are so use to giving so much of yourself that you are now depleted and have no energy to even do the things that you know you should. I know finances are a concern for you but you are not at all being selfish in taking care of yourself by buying yourself new bras and taking care of your appearance, etc. I hope that it makes you feel like a brand new you and is the start of great things to come. You totally deserve this!
It's amazing how those little things - eyebrows, underwear, hair - make such a huge difference in how we feel about our overall appearance. You really do have to put some of your wants higher on the list - with all that you do for eveyone else, you are the most important person to keep happy and healthy. Imagine where they'd all be without you!
I hope your role model can give you some tips on how she does it all - the most important being that she probably doesn't do it all! I'm sure she has wonderful people in her life that give her a hand, she probably chooses her battles, and takes it one step at a time when she's overwhelmed.
Sounds like you need a little kick in the bootie to get yourself going - don't put it off...do it! Even one new bra will make you feel so much better!
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