The Mommy War

I think about this blog alot. I'm proud of it. I'm proud that people actually read it and I'm proud that I'm starting to write again. I was a writing major in college but since I graduated, I haven't done much creative writing and I know my skill set has gone down the drain. I'm hoping that this very casual, off the cuff, journal sharpens my pencil a bit.

With that being said, I'm using this as my own free therapy. Writing things out has always helped me get through things. one of my biggest problems has always, always been that I care too much about what other people think about. So I'm utilizing this to vocalize my opinions without fear of losing friendships or other people's respect.

Sorry for the long introduction to "The Mommy War". What is this war I speak of? Its the war of the Stay at Home Mom vs the Full Time Working Mom. I'm always on guard and on the defense being a full time working outside the home Mom. I feel like I'm being judged for leaving my child to work. Truth is, I don't have a choice - if we want shelter that's more then a cardboard box, food that resembles nutrition and pants on our legs, then The Husband and I both better be bringing in a pay check. Its never been more of a passing fantasy that one of us would be staying at home.

Often I read "I don't want someone else raising my child". Ohhh that gets under my skin. The Husband and I raise The Girl. Not our daycare provider. The Girl knows who her Mommy and Daddy are. Anyway- I'm not gonna get into more of that.

Just as I get defensive of people who see me as not raising my daughter, I know that SAHM (stay at home moms) get defensive when people assume that they have it easy being at home all day with their child/ren. That's a very unfair characterization also. I can't imagine not having some adult interaction during the day. Plus figuring out how to entertain the child/ren all day long everyday? That really is difficult.

But to try to get to my main point a little faste, I'm just gonna go out and say it. I believe that WOHM (Work Outside Home Moms) have it a bit harder. I struggle getting up in the morning. Mornings are nuts - just nuts no matter how I try to prepare beforehand. Then I'm out the door, rarely on time, dropping her off at daycare provider's house. Then an hour + drive to work. Then work and all the "pleasures" that go along with that. I boss that isn't happy with anything. Meetings up the ying yang. People crying on the phone b/c I couldn't get a particular service for them. All the while staring at the row of pictures of The Girl. I get through the work day - hopefully no evening meetings - only to drive an hour + home. The best part of my day is walking in my door to The Girl's big smiling face that I am home.

I don't like thinking of all the hours I don't see her. I refuse to add it up b/c that would just depress me more then I care to be depressed. So in my head, just that one simple point - SAHM get to actually see their kids during the day, makes it an easier job then WOHMs.

The Husband thinks its just a case of the grass is always greener. He may be right. I don't think so ; ) But seriously, in general I am very supportive of all mothers. This is just my dark secret that I'm letting out - of course, all do to a post on a message board the sparked a flame. But truly even after I swallow my own pride, it does come to this - "Quite honestly, being a GOOD parent is tiring." SAHM or WOHM if you're raising your child right no matter if you do work a job or stay at home - my God, its a tough thing to do.

(here goes my self consciousness again) I really mean no ill will towards SAHMs, I hope this has come out clearly. This is just a "oh woe as me" and feel free to post and disagree too!